Well, yesterday was pretty awesome. Not pretty, I mean extremely awesome. Played till everyone was extremely exhausted. Alright, I shall not elaborate on what happened yesterday. Instead, I'd rather elaborate on what happened when I got home.
I got home at around 11. Mom was extremely pissed. But we didn't exchange any words. Then I got dinner. Then my dad sarcastically asked me why I was eating so little, and whether I was full already. Then I answered him sarcastically, yet again, I said "No la. I'm eating more than usual. I am so hungry. I didn't eat dinner." Which was true, but I added in the attitude cause he really asked for it. Went to bed.
Actually, I'm as disappointed at my parents as how disappointed they are at me. I know I was wrong to come home that late. I didn't ask my dad for permission. I only asked my mom. Then she told me that she took a half-day from work b'cause she was worried. That made me feel even more guilty. But then, why must my parents treat me like this? They keep saying that I don't deserve to be treated like a 16yearold cause I'm not behaving like one. Well hello, here I am trying to find a way to get back at you both. I wonder if they know the frustration that builds inside me. Some day, the frustration and anger would just break free. My sec 2 friends get more freedom than I do. Whats the problem? Aren't I old enough to take care of myself? Ugh. I'm just rather frustrated with my parents. I don't know what else to say. -.-
Why is it so hard for my parents to give me freedom? Is it because I don't deserve it? Well hello, I have tried all means to earn the freedom. And yet, nothing seems to be enough. What do you want from me? Why? Sometimes I just want to break down and cry. I know my O levels are coming and I know that you are all concerned about it. But then again, I do need a break once in a while.
My dad says that I am getting lazier and lazier to study. Well, doesn't he know that when he's at work, I study? I refrain from using the computer so that I could study. Yet, he thinks he is right, like always. Every night, I pray for my parents to be more decent and understanding. They only think that they are right, but have they ever thought about things from my perspective? I know I should respect them, but enough is enough. I get very envious when my friends say that they can go back anytime they'd like. I want that too.
You want me to be the perfect son. Perfect grades. Perfect friends. Perfect life. Perfect attitude. I can give you that. All that I'm asking for from you both is a little bit of respect, some freedom, and some decency. Please.
Ya Allah, tolong dengarkanlah doaku ini. Aku da banyak berdosa kepada ibubapaku. Maafkanku Ya Allah. Aku mintak mohon kepadaMu dan juga ibubapaku. Tolong maafkan dosa yang ku telah lakukan kepada ibubapaku. Aku sedar kesilapanku Ya Allah. Tolong dengarkanlah doaku ini. Amin.
